Pain

Another Journal Prompt from Submissive Guide:


If you are masochist, how do you process pain? Are you the silent type? Screamer? Crier? Is this what is expected of you? How does your partner prefer you to process pain?


Funny, cause last night I realized I can handle pain with MUCH more control than I can handle being tickled.  


When I'm being spanked, or bit, I tend to tense up, become very still, and hold my breath.  So far, I haven't been pushed to crying, I would like to see how much I could take before crying, or using our safe word.  But Master, every so often, pushes it a little further.  I do the "quiet screams" into my pillow, or my arm, or what ever.  


I don't know what my Master prefers when it comes to pain.  To be honest, I think a lot of the pain play is for my benefit, I'm not sure if he gets anything out of it. I appreciate it though, cause I do crave the pain.  There have been times I've asked for spankings.  They seem to help ground me, so when I feel like life is getting out of control (I'm a total control freak), I find that a good spanking helps me handle things better.  


Now tickling, I'm loud, giggling, wriggling around, trying to fight off Master.  I have a love hate relationship with tickling. 


I do know Master enjoys watching me squirm out of pleasure, but I'm not sure how he would like to see me when it comes to pain.