Saturday, March 10, 2012

Journal Prompt

If SM is a part of your dynamic explain how pain works for you. Is it a sexual turn on, a healing release, a spiritual moment, a session of giving?

From Submissive Journal Prompts

S and M is part of our relationship.  I would like it to be a bigger part of our relationship, but we are taking things slowly, to see what er a comfortable with.  Also, I know Master is a bit worried about hurting me, so we are taking it slow, finding out what I can take, and what we like.

So far I have found I'm totally into spanking, we tried out his belt, I liked that, and we recently tried out caning, which I LOVED.  We have tried hot wax, biting, pinching, all sorts of good things, and I've enjoyed them all.

To me, much of it is a sexual turn on, just having my hair pulled will get my heart racing, and my juices flowing, bring on a spanking, or a caning, and I'm ready to fuck in no time.  But another part of it is a release.  There have been times where I have asked Master for a spanking because of the mood I'm in.  If I'm cranky, or feeling out of sorts, or out of control, whatever the case may be, and I get a good spanking, lots of pain, be it followed by sex or not, I'm centered again, grounded, focused.  It's a freeing and wonderful feeling for me.

There are times, when we are playing, getting ready for sex, foreplay going, and I can't shut my mind off.  I keep thinking about what happened that day, what I need to do the next day, next week, what I should have done that day that I didn't do, what I should be doing now, etc. etc.  I just can't shut my brain off and enjoy what is happening to me in that moment.  But, should Master roll me over and bite my ass (literally) or spank me, pull my hair, pinch my nipples, cause me some sort of delicious pain, my brain shuts right the fuck up and I'm able to focus on what we are doing, and enjoy sex.

So, I look at it as this, I need the pain, to be a happy, healthy slave.  And I'm lucky to have a Master willing to give it to me.

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