Today is my Master's 49th Birthday. I didn't get to spend much time with him, I worked, and He worked. I wasn't able to get him a gift, or bake him a cake or anything, which really bothers me.
Birthdays are very special, important days to me. They are the one day you don't have to share with anyone, and you should be treated very special.
Instead, I spend part of what little time we have together (my lunch hour) in tears.
I felt selfish after that.
I want to do so much for my Master, I want to give him everything he could want, I want to be the perfect slave, housewife, mother, whatever he wishes. I want to keep a clean house, always having my chores done. I want to be able to satisfy him sexually every day, or more often. I want him to not have to worry about bills, or what will happen if a car breaks down, or an appliance stops working. I want him to be able to relax and enjoy life, or at the very least, his birthday. But I wasn't able to do that this year.
But next year, oh, next year is going to be different.
It will be his 50th, and I plan to make it a week long celebration, with many many surprises.
Now to get started on the planning.
And for this year, I don't work on Thursday, so at the very least he will be getting a massage, I got my book today!!!
I love you Master! Happy Birthday!
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