Goodbye 2011!!!

So, the year is almost over, there are only 3 and a half hours left in it.  And it's ending the same way it's been, not that great.

I have an eye infection, due to not taking out my contacts every night, make that, not taking out my contacts for months on end.  So, that has given me some issues.  My house is a wreck, I've half put away Christmas, laundry is backed up, I'm still on my period, blah blah blah.

But a new year is coming up, and I'm determined that even if the year isn't a great one, I will do my best to better myself in it.  I have (most of) my list of 52 things to do in 2012 up.  I have a few blank ones, but I'm sure I will come up with things to add to my list.  Either new habits, things I want to accomplish, or other things, in the upcoming year.  Each Saturday I will pick one to work on, starting tonight.

The first habit I plan to work on is reading the Bible daily.  I have bookmarks that list what to read each day, and if you do it daily, you can read through the Bible in a year.  This is something I've tried to do on and off for many years, and this year I'm going to do it!

There are many changes I'm going to make in the upcoming year, I'm excited about it.  I'm going to be a better me by the end of it!

Weepy

But not because I'm sad.

I have something wrong with my eye, either a sty, a blocked tear duct, or something.  It doesn't hurt, it's not red, the upper eye lid is a bit puffy and my eye keeps filling up with tears.  It's nothing more than an annoyance right now, hopefully it will go away before it gets worse.  Having no insurance, I really don't want to have to go to the dr.

Had a decent day at work today.  Despite my mood (started my period on Christmas), and my weepy eye (annoyance), I managed to have a conversation with my boss, about full time.  There is currently only one full time position at my level.  With it would come no pay raise, BUT it does come with other things that make me want it.  The main thing, being health insurance.  Plus, while not having an hourly increase, I would be paid 40 hours a week, compare to 25ish (depending on what I actually work) so it would be almost like getting a raise.  I did let my boss know I would love that job.  He also made a comment about what potential I have.  So, I need to buckle down at work.  Don't get me wrong, I work hard.  I have no problem with the actual work, and I have no problem with the customer service.  It's the sales.  I'm not good at sales.  But to be honest, I haven't been trying.  I need to change that.  Adding that to my resolutions.

I need to update my 52 things for next year.  That's next on my list of things to do tonight.  Along with watching The Big Bang Theory and de-Christmasing the house.  Both will be done by the end of the week.

Submissive Blog Hop Challenge #3 Is Submission a Gift?

Is Submission a Gift?
Submission is often described as the most precious gift a submissive can offer a Dominant. Others don’t believe that submission is a gift at all. What is your opinion about this? Once you have an opinion, then consider the other opinion and talk about how they could or could not be right as well. How would you describe your submission to your Dominant?

Click here to see other's responses

Is Submission a Gift?  My short answer, is yes.

My long answer is, it really depends, on who is submitting and who is being submitted to.

Even that's not really a long answer, here is my really long answer, and opinion.

MY submission is a gift.  I am a submissive person naturally, but I do not submit to ANYONE who does not treat me with respect.  Even if it's not sexual submission, or submission in the BDSM sense.  If you do not treat me with respect, I will not be a submissive person.
When it comes to sexual submission, or BDSM related submission, not only do you have to treat me with respect, but I have to feel your dominance.  I wouldn't be able to submit to someone who isn't a dominant person.  I'm too big of control freak, so I need someone really dominant to take control and take charge.
AND I have to trust you.  I am giving over control to you, giving you the reigns.  My submission to my Master is in ALL matters, and it's only because I can trust him, that I know he has my best interest, as well as his, and our whole family, in mind.  I have given him control over my life, and while many decisions he allows me to make, I know that if he doesn't think my decision is the best, he will say something.
To give control of your life to someone, you have to respect, and trust that person, and to be honest, both those things, having my respect and trust, is a gift as well, so why wouldn't my submission, which rests on those two things, be a gift.

For someone to be themselves, completely, around me.  To be able to let their guard down, relax and be themselves, around me, I consider that to be a gift to me, that they trust me enough to let me in.  And that is what I do as a submissive, I am myself, completely, to my Master. I give him my transparency, he knows me, inside and out, that is a gift, mine to give, and thankfully, his to take.  I like to think, that if I were a Domme, I would find it an honor when a submissive let me know them, inside and out.

I feel this isn't making much sense, but there it is.  I think submission is a gift.

And it's DONE!

Another Christmas come and gone.  It was a good one over all, despite dealing with my mother.  My sister and brother in law spoiled us, and bought all three of us Kindle Fires.  DD liked the gifts we got her as well.  It was a good time.  I was sad Master had to work on Christmas, but that is a given being where he works.

But, now that Christmas is over, I can not wait to get the decorations put away, and for everything to get back to normal.  I'm especially looking forward to the new year, to making differences, to better myself and my family.  I am determined to make 2012 a good year.  Money is still going to be tight, but that's ok.  It's my hope to get at least one of our 5 debts (not counting the mortgage) paid off.  At the rate I'm going right now, it should be done by Sept.  There are tons of other things I want to do too, which you can see on the page I have dedicated to it.

I found a website: http://idothisfor.me that should help me keep track, but I'm currently unable to add any habits or goals, so we'll see.

I plan to have the Christmas stuff packed up by the end of the week.  I work the rest of the week, but then I get a 3 day weekend.  After that, I should be pack to actual part time hours, which is a blessing and a curse.  Ah well, it is what it is.

Bring it ON!

I am officially ready for Christmas.

The gifts are bought, and wrapped.  The gifts from Santa, and stocking stuffers are set and hidden.  Groceries for our contribution to holiday parties are bought and ready to make.

Now I'm waiting for the other shoe to fall.

DD has been sick, thankfully, she is getting better.   Still sniffly, still coughing, still has a nasty cold sore on her lip, but she is getting better.

Friends and their families are sick.

Co-Workers are sick.

Not to mention the endless line of customers that come in complaining of being sick.

I'm just waiting to catch it.  I'm praying it will be after Christmas.

BUT!  If it's not, if God decides I am to be sick for Christmas, I am ready, my daughter and my Master will have a good Christmas, my sister and her husband will get gifts.  And to me, that's all that matters.

REALLY????

WHY!!!  Why is my daughter sick this close to Christmas.  Poor thing, last week had the sniffles.  Didn't think much of it, the weather keeps bouncing up and down, from the 20's to the 50's, and back again. I was sniffly myself, but felt fine otherwise.  Sunday night, had tickets to Cirque Dreams.  Went with a friend and DD's friend.  At intermission DD started crying, and she was burning up.  Needless to say we came home.  She stayed home sick the last two days, fever, runny nose, cough, and today a huge cold sore showed up on her lip.  She was taking a shower tonight, and ended up puking all over the bathroom.  She went to bed at 9, and by 9:20 she was sawing logs.  I scrubbed down the bathroom (and a good portion of the house, which I will finish tomorrow).  I'm hoping, for many reasons, that she will wake up tomorrow feeling better, but we will see.  I want to make plans, shit, we already have plans.  But now I feel like I'm holding my breath.  I don't know how she will be by then, and I have no clue if Master or I will come down with this.  It's making it's rounds, stupid people come into work sick all the time, and one of my co-workers was out sick today too.  Thank God I have tomorrow off.  I need to get back to taking my Vitamin C daily!

Praying for a healthy Christmas!

Pantie free day!

So, on Master's days off, I have a few special rules.  One is my hair must be down (he has allowed me to put it up on a few super hot days) and NO panties.

Originally, I thought that this would just make easier play access on days he was home, especially when I wasn't working.  To be honest, he hasn't really taken advantage of that, but I have discovered a few pleasant side effects from not wearing panties.

It has caused me to be much much more aware of my pussy.  I smell it.  At work, I have to crouch down to get my rolled coin, or on occasion for other things, I can't bend at the hips, it would make me dizzy, so when I need something low, I crouch, with my legs spread.  And boy, can I smell my pussy when I do that.  I have also discovered, I like the way my pussy smells.  Most of the time anyway.  I don't like the way it smells during my period, or right after my period.  But, like today, in the middle of my cycle, I find it to be a pleasant smell.

I am also aware how wet I get.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm aware that I'm pantiless, or if it's always that wet, and my panties normally absorb it, but I am wet most of the day.  Thankfully, not pants soaking wet, or running down my legs wet, but wet enough that I went to the bathroom a few times a day just to make sure my period hadn't started.

I wear pants most of the time, but on the occasions I do wear skirts, knee length skirts especially, I am also much more aware of how I move, how I sit, etc.  I'm not a lady like person.  I sit either Indian style, or with my legs spread, it's how I'm comfortable.  I rarely have my legs crossed, unless it's at the ankle.  But when I wear skirts with no panties I am very careful how I move, how I sit, getting in and out of the car, and don't get me started about going up stairs!!!!

I enjoy pantie free days, I wouldn't mind if Master requested it more often, but I'm not sure I could do it full time.  Maybe one day, we will see!

Almost, but not quite!

I'm a procrastinator.  It's one of the things I hate about myself.  I would get so much more done, and probably have more time to unwind and relax, if I would just get my shit done to begin with instead of putzing around.  I got home from work a little before 1:30, had lunch, and took a nap.  Now, I did need the nap, and it was only about 30 minutes, and it totally helped, but then I basically played games on Facebook the rest of the night.  I did get the house tidy, and I did help DD work on her room a little while, which is almost done, and I did get the chinchilla cage cleaned and the basement floor swept.  But, here I am, at 10:45, with more on my list todo.  Granted, I will have time to do it tomorrow, but, if I had it all done today, tomorrow could have been a blow off day totally.

I need to work on that in the new year, along with many other things.

Feeling on the Ball!

I like days like today.  While I didn't do everything I intended (like cleaning the Chinchilla cage), I am feeling more on top of things and positive.  I wish I knew what made the difference, why some days I feel like everything is good, I am in control, things are going to be ok, and why other days I feel like the world is caving in, everything is out of control, and gloom and doom.  I know part of it is sleep.  Other than that, I'm not sure.

I am looking forward to tomorrow.  I SHOULD be able to get my Christmas shopping done, I work a short shift, and Master has the day off!  We will be going out to dinner as a family, and I'm not sure what else.  I know sex is on the agenda as well, and THAT is something to look forward to!

I need to start blogging earlier in the evening. I'm sleepy, and heading to bed!

Blog Prompt: Why do I feel the need to change

Why do I feel the need to change.

This is something I am constantly doing, and it's because I want to be the best me I can be.

I know, that sounds cheesy, but it's true.  I'm constantly trying to be more organized, have a cleaner house, and better relationship with God, Master, family in general, friends.  I want to read more, work out more, be healthier, be smarter, have more time, feel more rested, do more, save more money, etc.  BUT!  I struggle with all of it.  Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it, if I should just go with the flow, would I enjoy life more? Stress less? But then, I get something in my head, about how life should be, and then I go changing more.  I have a feeling I'll be this way the rest of my life.  I feel bad for Master, cause he has to deal with me getting my crazy notions on how things are going to be, and he is stuck going along for the ride.  But I'm usually doing what I do to make our lives better.  I hope he understands that.

7 is the magic number

Not 3 (for all you Schoolhouse Rock fans out there!)

Last week I was dragging ass all week.  I was trying to figure out why, and, while I know, part of it was due to being that time of the month, it was because I was only getting 6 hours of sleep.  I have also in the past, gotten TONS of sleep, and still dragged my ass.  But last night, I was in bed by 11, got up at 6, and got tons of stuff done before and at work.  I would have gotten more done before I crashed, but DD had her school Christmas Concert tonight, so we spent most of the evening dealing with that.

But now I have a problem.  I'll use tonight as an example.

Master is home, now, I could go to bed at 11, and get up tomorrow at 6 and get tons of stuff done around the house, cause I don't have to be at work till 11am.  BUT!  We were planning on fooling around.  Which would be fine, but Master is asleep.  Now, if I do stay awake, I could go back to bed for a while once DD goes to school, but then I'll get less done tomorrow.  I also don't know if 7 broken hours of sleep will work as well.

Anyway.  I got "good" news today at work.  They hired another teller.  So I'm going to be back to actual part time hours, instead of 36 hour weeks.  Don't get me wrong, I don't mind working, and I LOVE the paychecks, but I feel like I'm not able to get a damned thing done around the house.  And I don't get any time with Master, which sucks.  Like tonight.  It's time like these when I struggle with being a submissive, cause with out connecting with my Master, I feel lost.

When did that happen?

When did I become an adult?  I don't remember it happening, and I still feel like the same person (pretty much) as I did when I was 16.  I can be responsible, but I don't want to.  Then again, I wonder how many adults DO want to be responsible.  How many people would much rather just play, have fun, than work and such.

I also have a daughter on the verge of becoming a teen ager, and I hate that!  She is 11, but I swear to God she is already PMSing, and her moods are getting to be not so great.  I had a talk with her today, after my sister mentioned that she noticed a bit of an attitude from her.  I'm hoping that will help for a little while.

But I'm realizing I do need to suck it up, and start doing more, as much as I don't want to.

I'm thinking about making a list, of 52 things to do this year, one for each week.  Either a new habit, or something that I've been putting off for far too long.  I think it's a good idea, and for the rest of this year, I'll work on making the list.  It won't be in any certain order, but I WILL do 1 thing each week.  Be it starting a new habit, or just something getting done.

Here's to being a grown up in 2012!

New rule, and some random thoughts

So, I requested new rules from my Master, and he decided that I should refocus on the ones I already have, as I've been slacking, but he did allow me to add that I need to blog every night.  So, today is the first night of that.

I am looking forward to the new year, I want to, and need to make some changes and plans.  One thing I'm excited about is that Master says we will be getting iPhones and iPads this year, wooohooo!!!  He says we will start with our tax returns, this will be one year I'll be doing taxes ASAP!  I am also hoping my extra hours keep up, cause then we should be able to buy them fairly quickly too!

I am debating on going back to head covering too, something that I've done in the past, but stopped doing.  I'm feeling the call to do that, and wear dresses more (maybe not full time, we'll see), but I need to talk to Master about his thoughts first.

Anyway, it's getting super late, and Master and I need to get up (fairly) early for CHRISTMAS shopping for DD!

Here's to blogging on a regular basis.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

It's time!

I need to make changes, and I have been.

Health wise, our family joined the Y, I just added new machines to my weight routine today.  I am also on week one of a Couch to 5K program.   I am doing this for a few reasons. One, is to look hot.  I'm going to be honest, that's what this blog is for.  I don't feel hot.  I used to be hot, I just didn't realize it then, but I want to be hot again.  Second, is because I think being in shape will improve our sex life, better endurance, better flexibility, etc.  I just want to be healthier too, I want the whole family to be healthier.

That being said, my Master has been working out as well, mostly on the weights, and I'm so happy and excited about that.  I worry about him, I don't mind that he is a big guy, not at all, but I want him to be healthy so he will be with me a long long time!

Also, our daughter has been going too.  She and Master have gone swimming a few times, she has done the various cardio machines, and she is in Karate, she is a white belt, working on her first stripe.

Then there are the financial changes.  I just finished reading Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover, and I would like to follow his plan.  I'm working on selling stuff on Craigslist and eBay, to get us started (and to help cover Christmas).  I also opened a savings account to use for next year to save for Christmas, then I'll be able to buy people what I WANT to buy them!  Not just the bare minimum!  So, I'm excited about that.

With all that in place, I need to work on a routine, so I'm also going to figure out a plan for keeping the house tidy, and then one for deep cleaning the house on a regular basis.

I'm not going to fool myself, the house won't be up to the standards that I want, but I will keep it decent.

I will also be getting more hours at work, at  least for now.  Which is a blessing, and a curse.  I don't enjoy working, I won't lie.  I don't mind being a bank teller, I can handle the customers, even when they are asses, and I can handle the money, and balancing.  What I hate is the fact that they make us sell things to every customer.  I don't mind if a customer could use something, like a person that has a large amount of money in a checking account, earning no interest, of course I'll recommend a savings.  Or if a person has a mortgage with 7% interest, of COURSE I'm going to tell them they need to refinance!  But to push credit cards on people that can already barely make ends meet, I don't want to help them dig them selves into the hole I'm in.  So I won't do that.  But, our branch just lost a teller, she got a new job, so there are more hours there, plus there are other branches that are short handed, and I'm helping out a few days at one of them as well.  While I would much rather only be working the 24 or so hours a week, but, we need the money, and as I'm a slave, and part of this family, I will do my part.

And, I also plan to start cooking more, I went through my crock pot cook books this evening, and made notes of recipes I'd like to try.  I'm thinking maybe 2 a week to start.

I'm excited about all these changes, for the good.  I know there will be set backs, but the point will be, not to let them get me down, and stop me.

Submissive Blog Hop Challenge #1 | 25 Things

This month’s challenge: 25 Things About You and Your Submission

Since this is the introductory Blog Hop on Submissive Guide I want you to sort of introduce yourself and share some interesting things about yourself and your submission. You can choose to focus on anything you wish as long as you stay within the topic.

1) My Master and I have been married for almost 14 years.

2)We have been together for almost 17 years.

3) I was 19 when we first started dating.

4) Our marriage started out vanilla, we have only been working on the D/s, M/s aspects for about a year now.

5) I am 35, my Master is 48.

6) I am the one who brought up BDSM, he had never heard of it.

7) I was a SAHM for 11 years, and just started working again this July.

8) My Master works midnights, I work days, so we have a very limited amount of time together.

9) We have an 11 year old daughter with Autism.

10) I am a Girl Scout leader.

11) I am a huge fan of the horror genre, both books and movies.

12) I am doing my best to "teach" my Master what it is to be a Master.  (So to speak.)

13) He had me create my "alter ego" (Autumn Raine Skye), when I told him I wanted to reach out to other members of the BDSM community, online.  

14) We don't have nearly as many rules, protocol's or routines as I would like.... or THINK I would like.

15) I write my Master 2 emails every night before I go to bed.

16) Because of these emails, and my writing the occasional fantasy in them, my Master has discovered that, according to him, I am a very good writer.  Hearing that made me very happy.

17) I am a very shy person, and submissive in general, not just with my Master.

18) I would do anything to be a SAHM again.
19) I have recently discovered that I would like to play more with a belt.
20) I really enjoy spankings
21) I asked my Master if I could call him Master, and I'm still working on getting used to it.
22) My Master and I are working on changing aspects of our lives, including eating healthier and working out.
23) There are times I wish he was a bit more firm with me.
24) I sometimes feel I don't do all I should be doing for my Master
25) I love my Master and plan to spend the rest of my life with him.

If you enjoyed my list, check out this link where there is a list of all the other participants! 

Getting healthy

Ok, really, I need to loose weight.  I need to get in shape, I need to eat better and work out more (or just work out, since I don't work out at all right now!)  So, with some encouragement from a fellow Fetlifer, I signed up for myfitnesspal.  Under the same username, Autumnraineskye.  If anyone wants to friend me there, feel free!

SO!  Tomorrow, I start drinking my water, eating more fruit, tracking my food, and exercise, and I will be squeezing in more exercise time.

I want to do this for many reasons, to be able to do more sexually, to look hotter, to feel better in general, to have more energy, to be able to wear cute clothes, and to be a good example for my daughter.  I'm guessing at my starting weight until I get a new (used) Wii, but I am shooting for 130.  I'm only 5'2" so 130 is ok.  Most sites say someone my height should be 120, but we'll see.

I'll be posting my weightloss ticker at the bottom of the blog.  I also plan to set aside some blogging time.  I need to get into some better habits, and that starts tomorrow!  For now, it's bedtime!

Darn it!

So, I had this GREAT idea for a blog topic, even had part of it all figured out in my head.  I started tidying up the house for the night, and checking email and such, figuring, before bed, I would write my blog.

And now it's gone.

I have no idea what I was going to write about.

So, since I can't remember what I was going to write about, I'll write a bit about this.

I've started watching a show on Netflix called "Obsession"  It's about people with OCD.  Now, while I don't claim to be any where near as severe as the people on this show, I do suffer from OCD.  I pick at my skin, anything I view as a pimple, or possible pimple, I pick at.  Then, when it's a scab, I pick that.  I can keep at some, especially on my arms, for a long time, till they are really sore and bad.  I also have some Trichotillomania.  Usually in major stress, or if I find a pimple in my hair, I pull the hair around it, till I have a bald spot.

Now, I have never cut, but I have had urges to do so.  I refrain from that, and I have discovered recently, that being spanked, totally helps that.

I have started asking Master, when I'm feeling super stressed, to give me some spankings, and it totally helps me, and grounds me and centers me.  I love it.

I think that's all for now, I hope I remember what I wanted to blog about.  I will say, from now on, unless I'm someplace I can't get to my computer, I will blog right away when I have a great idea.

I am also interested in finding a way to have people ask me questions that I can blog about.  If anyone has ideas on that, let me know!

Fahrenheit 451

Ok, I know I should be ashamed for writing this about the movie, and not the book, given what both are about, but I just saw the movie, and I LOVED it.

I am a horror geek, I love all horror books and movies, and while this is not technically a horror movie (book), to me, it is the ultimate horror.

I don't want to go into too great detail, I don't want to spoil anything for anyone who hasn't read/watched it, but if you are a lover of books, please, at least, watch the movie.

I cried at the end.

I may go into more detail at another time, but it's 11:35, and I must call Master to say good night, and get to bed.  Just wanted to share a bit.

Followers?!?!

Ok, I'll admit, I've let my little blog go to the wayside.  There have been a few reasons for this.  One is because I'm busy, and I'm trying to learn to balance all of the aspects of my life, work, home, Girl Scouts, mother, wife, slave, etc.  So I've let some things go.  One thing I know I need to work on is not wasting time.  I also have totally slacked on my working out.

Another reason, and the main reason, as selfish and egotistical as it sounds, no one was reading it.  Master may read it now and then, but I doubt it.

So!  Imagine my surprise when I signed on today and found I have two followers!

That being said, I will try my best to post at least once a week, hopefully more often.

For now, I must go and get my chores done.

Something to look forward to!

So, this past week, we have upped things a bit. I'm asking permission for more things, I am calling Him Sir or Master in private (or at least trying to, will post about that another time) and Daddy or Babe in public.  And our sex life has been kicked up a notch or two.  So, I'm on day one of a four day weekend.  Master is working tonight, and tomorrow, but he also has Monday and Tuesday off, so we are going to have some fun, both family and private.  Today we picked up the one car that just got fixed (and cost us way too much money), and we went to church as a family, DD was on Altar server duty.  Tomorrow DD and I are going with our friends (my BFF and her daughter) to the local Art Museum, and then Monday and Tuesday are FAMILY days!  We are going to go to the water park one day, and then no idea the other day, maybe some back to school shopping.  But, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights....there is going to be some FUN being had in our bedroom!  I can't wait.  And I am going to be more diligent about calling him Master and Sir in private!  (Again, will post about that later)  but for now, I wait!

Pennies from Heaven

So, I was in a good little slave mood, and doing housework today.  After Master left for work, and I got the main floor of the house all cleaned up, I went to vacuum.  I did our bedroom and noticed the vacuum was letting off a burning smell.  I figured it was because the bag was full.  I was right, so I emptied the bag and headed to the basement to see if there was a new one.  I went to the pantry, and found the little box where they had been before.  As I was pulling it out, I remember taking the bags out of the box, but I checked it anyway.  Sure enough, I found our Hannukah and Advent candles in the box.

As I went to put the box back, I noticed that the shelf liner had moved, and there was paper under it.  I grabbed, it and realized it was a bank envelope.  My hands shaking, I opened it, and found a bunch of twenties inside.  On a whim I check under the rest of the liner, and found 4 more envelopes.

My mother in law must have stashed them there at some point.

We live in my Master's childhood home.  When his parents passed away (his father over 8 years ago, his mother, just a little over 7) we inherited and moved into the home.

Anyway, his parents always took care of us, they bought us a deep freezer when we got married, along with a monetary gift, they bought us a car once, although, that was supposed to be a loan, but any time we tried to pay them back they wouldn't take it, things like that.  And now, when times are tough, and we barely have enough money to buy bread and milk, she sends us this.  I know she is looking out for us from above.  And it's appreciated!

Disappointment

So, last night was a night of disappointment.  It turned out to be good sex, GREAT sex in fact, but not exactly what I was hoping for. Here's what happened:

Daughter had a sleep over at a friends house planned.  Master worked the day shift, and I didn't have to be at work till noon the next day.  Master did have a soft ball game but we had a kinky night planned.  I had sent him a list of things I would like to try, and he was going to pick some to do, since we would have the house to ourselves.  We were also going to go to the bar with his friends, and out to eat after the softball game.  (We don't drink, but we would have gone to hang out with friends.) I had also planned to meet Master at the door, wearing nothing but a collar.

BUT!

The mom of the other girl forgot.  This is the second time she has done this, and she has also done some other things to prove her unreliable.

My daughter, who is autistic, was devastated.  She was crying.  Not only did she now not have a sleep over to go to, but she has also turned down a chance to go to a friends house for the day, because she thought she was going to go to the other friends house.

So we had a make a rule. No making plans with this friend anymore.  If she wants to play right then, that's one thing, but we are not making plans ahead of time with them.

So, it sucked all around, for her, and for us.

People suck!

One of my problems with the community

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A new step

Master and I are on different schedules, mainly because of work.  He works nights, I work days.  He works weekends, and 5 days a week, I work mainly weekdays, and only 3-4 days a week.  We also have a wonderful daughter, who is off of school for the summer.  Therefore, there doesn't leave much time for any sex or play.

For a while now, I've been telling Master that I would love it if he would wake me up for sex.  Either when he got home from work, or when he wakes up from his naps (if he his home his naps usually fall from 10pm till about midnight or so).  But up until now, he has never done so.  I know that he wants me to get my sleep, and that is his decision when we have sex, so I am ok with that.  (Plus I can be cranky sometimes  when I'm woken up.)

He has a pulled hamstring, so he woke me up at 3:30 to put on some of the medication that helped earlier in the evening.  I did so, with out a problem, and then crawled back into bed, expecting to go back to sleep.

I was VERY pleasantly surprised when that was not on the agenda!

I'm not going to go into great detail here, I'm not ready to do that yet, maybe in the future.  But he was very demanding with me, I LOVED it!  I don't know exactly what caused it, but I wish I did, cause I would make sure it happened more often.

He also ordered me not to get up early this morning, since I didn't have to be to work till later in the morning, which I happily obeyed as well.  My email from him this morning was very to the point, "Domish"  as well, which is also out of the norm.

I am a happy little slave girl this morning!

Slacker

I just can't seem to catch up, part of it is because I'm a slacker, and a big part of it is getting used to being back in the work force.  I think a big difference will come when DD starts back to school in a month.  I'll have to get up at 6am, Mon-Fri, so my schedule won't be all over the place.  The days I won't be working till later, I can get stuff done around the house while Master sleeps, and the days I do work earlier, I will be up in time to get ready.

Master is on a softball team with his friends.  Their first game was last night, and Master hurt himself.  Pulled a hamstring. Which is bad, but there are two things I've found out from this experience.  Firstly, watching Master play, especially when pitching, totally turned me on.  Second, I have reinforced that I enjoy helping Master.  I was looking in the closet for something to help with the pain, Bengay, Icy Hot, etc.  Found something called absorbin Jr. and I put it on him.  So far it really seems to help!  It says it can be used 4 times a day, so I'm going to do my best to apply it every 6 hours to help him.  I hate when he is hurt and there is nothing I can do, so to have been able to help with something, that made me feel great.

We managed to have some quality time together last night.  It was very intense, and I was super horny, even after I had an orgasm.  I'm hoping we get a chance to fool around tonight, but he is sleeping now, after some very long days, so I'm not sure.  I should be getting things done and ready, we are going camping overnight with some friends Friday night (yet another reason I hope we fool around tonight, since we won't be able to Friday) but I'm super tired.  I may go to bed myself.  But first I'm going to post my rules, and my cleaning schedule that I'm supposed to follow.

Here's to a great weekend (and 4 days off after tomorrow!)

Lazy

I am lazy.  That is one of my biggest faults, that I would like to change.  And it's not just physically lazy, I'm mentally lazy too.  I want to write.  Both in blogging, and in general writing, like a novel.  I have many many great ideas.  For both blogs and novels.  But I can never seem to make myself sit and write.  I get on the computer and wander aimlessly on facebook.  I have no self discipline.  I use the excuse there is not enough time, I have too much house work, on and on and on.  But it all boils down to me being lazy.  Today, the only house work I have to do, is basic stuff.  General picking up of the house, and dishes.  I got up 12 hours ago, and I still have the dishes and tidying the kitchen to go.  I did run errands for an hour, and other than that, I've done a whole lot of time wasting.  It's not to say that I shouldn't have relaxing days now and then, and it's not to say I feel like I should be working every waking moment of the day, but I need to find balance.  I have done some reading today, I started "Danse Macabre" (Stephen King) today.  So far it's my least favorite thing I've read by him.  But I'm reading all his books in the order they were published, and this is what's next, so I'll plug through, but I'm looking forward to going back to his fiction.

But I digress.

I need to get my act together.  I'm going to go back to Tools To Life.  I need to do that again, I was on the ball when I was following that, and I am going to take it slow, doing each day for one week, to make sure I get it down.  I do like the program, I just need to take it slower so I don't get overwhelmed again.  Here's a link if anyone is interested.  http://toolstolife.com/

But I need to work on getting more disciplined, with house work, with exercise, with writing, with everything. I need to get in gear before Sept.  I will have a lot more to do in the fall, when school starts back up, and I took on an extra role when it comes to Girl Scouts this year.  So I need more discipline.

I really think that's one of the reason's I'm so drawn to submission/slavery.  It calls for discipline, both from someone else, and from myself.

New start

I've started many many blogs before, but this one is different.  This one is totally anonymous.  My Master/Husband will have a link, and other than that, people will have to stumble upon it.  I've made a Pseudonym to blog and use on various BDSM websites, in fact, I even made a Facebook, and Google+ page with this name.  I am allowed to talk more about this aspect of my life this way, provided I follow Master's rules, no using real names or photos. Which I am fine with.  I will refer to Him as Master.  Which I don't do, though would love to do, in real life.  I couldn't do it in front of our little one, but when we are alone, or in texts, I would like to.  In fact, I think I will start doing it in text and emails, and see what He thinks of it.
I am hoping that He reads this blog, maybe even gives me things to blog about.  I think it would be a great way for us to get to know each other.

I think that's it for a first blog.  I need to finish getting the house in order before I go to bed!