Saturday, March 15, 2014

Midas Touch

I've got it, although it seems like everything I touch turns to crap.

I feel like crap right now.  I'm sure it's my new pills, I was warned they may upset my stomach.  They are.  I have had no appetite for the last two days, and right now, I feel like I could puke.  I ate something, hoping that would help, and I know soon the pills will knock me out, so I'll be asleep.

I also was warned that these new pills could make me suicidal for the first two weeks, while I don't feel suicidal, I am super down.

There is water all over the basement again, I ran a load of laundry, this time water went every where cause the wash tub over flowed.  I felt like I was making headway, with the upstairs being tidy, except the kitchen, which I was going to work on tomorrow, but now I feel like the house is a wreck.

The basement is my junk pile, there is so much crap just piled up on the floor all over the place, and now there are dirty/wet clothes and water all over the floor.

And while the house is tidy, I need to wash all the bedding, I haven't vacuumed in like two months, the bathroom needs a good scrubbing as does the kitchen.  But I'm never home.  And when I am, I'm too tired.

I feel like a worthless wife and mother.  To me that is what is important, being a wife and mother.  Being there for my family.  And I'm not.  I'm shit, I'm worthless.  I can barely function when I'm home, and that's not very much.

I really hope these pills work.  I need to feel better.  I need to be in a better mood and have more energy.  Things need to get better.

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